Look out, Christmas! The competition is heating up for “Best Day Ever” thanks to the Mavs and Star Wars.
That’s right. All our dreams are coming true because this Monday night is DALLAS MAVERICKS STAR WARS NIGHT. The event actually came to me in a dream once. Dirk hits a dagger 3 at the top of the key and a line of storm troopers hold up German 3-signs while a Wookie does backflips with Greg Smith. That dream becomes reality on Monday and I fully expect to be in tears when it’s all said and done.
With so much excitement in the air, I can’t help but wonder what these Mavs would look like if they lived in the Star Wars universe. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t done this with every Mavs roster for the last decade but now it means something because STAR WARS NIGHT IS HAPPENING!
Let’s take a look at our intergalactic Jedi Roster.
So question: Which Dallas Maverick is the ultimate representation of good and brought freedom and triumph to the entire galaxy forever and ever? LET ME THINK.
Dirk, like Luke, was just a boy from humble beginnings who grew up to become one of the greatest basketball players that ever played. Both men became masters of their craft thanks to some unorthodox training with elderly wise men (HOLGER!).
Ultimately, Luke reached peak-greatness after defeating the most evil Sith lord in the galaxy. Dirk did the same to the 2011 Miami Heat – who might as well be Sith lords.
They each changed the game forever. Luke gave freedom to a galaxy that’s been held captive for generations … much like Dirk did to the power forward position. He changed the NBA for the better by freeing big men from the captivity of a label and improved the game tenfold.
The final key component to this is the force. Dirk — being a Jedi — is the only explanation for the one-legged fade. He’s clearly a master of the force and uses it to make insanely-difficult shots in his sleep.
May the Fade be with you, Master Dirk.
Scoundrels. Smugglers. Men after their own self-interests. This was the reputation haunting both Monta Ellis and Han Solo prior to them assembling with their current comrades.
Han would eventually shake his past by uniting with the rebel forces and became one of the bravest men to ever roam about the galaxy. DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
Monta Ellis had a similar reputation before coming to the Mavs. Analysts called him selfish and inefficient during his time with Milwaukee, although very few considered his circumstance as being the direct result of his “hero-ball.” This stigma made most teams shy away from him during free agency.
Dallas saw the good in this man and vice versa. They signed Monta Ellis and he immediately displayed the type of player he really was. Just like Han’s relationship with Luke, it took Monta Ellis finding the right running mate in Dirk Skywalker to showcase his true range of courage and honor.
Plus, I can’t think of any other NBA player who could handle the Millenium Falcon.
There is just way too much pressure that comes with being the “chosen one.” Think about it. All your growth, all your mistakes, all your adjustments being judged under one hot microscope. I don’t know how Anakin and Chandler do it. They’re certainly much better men than me.
A quick backstory on Anakin Skywalker:
Anakin lived in this dirty place called Tatooine. Then, some Jedi came in and offered his mother a choice. Anakin could either stay with her on Tatooine or they could take him and turn him into one of the greatest Jedi that ever lived.
Parsons’ story is pretty similar. He too was living in a dirty place before the Mavs forced Houston to make a choice. The Rockets could match Parsons’ offer sheet to keep him there or they could agree to let him come to Dallas, where the Mavs will train him to be a great NBA player. Thus, a Maverick was born.
Just like Anakin, he knows he is capable of taking over but must remain patient. We’ve already seen many signs of greatness in Parsons. Last night’s OT was the prime example – his midichlorian count was cooking! His driving, passing and playmaking are vital to the success of Dallas’ offense.
In the end, I believe Parsons will be remembered as a great Maverick and perhaps … he’ll be the one to bring balance back to the Metroplex.
Tyson Chandler and Chewbacca are one and the same. Each of them stand eight feet tall, are sworn to protect the ones they love (Tyson <3 the rim) and both enjoy screaming as loud as physically possible when they get excited.
Chewbacca’s background as a storied Wookie warrior came in handy when he joined Luke and the core group of rebels that restored freedom to the galaxy. Speaking of core groups of rebels restoring freedom to the galaxy, let’s talk more about the 2011 Championship Mavs. That team would’ve been nothing without the warrior-like play of Tyson Chandler who helped restore freedom to the Mavericks once and for all.
Lando has always been tough to read. Was he happy to see you or secretly planning your kidnapping? Nobody knows.
Both Rondo and Lando are master manipulators. Rondo has an ability to deceive a defense like no one else with his crafty handles and laser-like passing. Good luck reading him off the court too. Expressing his emotions was never really Rondo’s thing. His face is always the same, whether he’s excited about a big win or mourning the death of a pet.
The stories line up too. Each of these guys stormed in midway through the saga to help our heroes achieve their goals. Sure Monta Solo is the one true pilot of the Millenium Falcon, but Rondo and Lando are both totally ready to step up and pilot this ship well into the playoffs.
The best 6th man in the galaxy is R2D2. He has a role. He knows it. And most of the time he improvises just enough to save your life.
The same can be said for Devin, who leads the Mavs second unit with a healthy mix of precession and crazy. Whether it’s tossing lobs to Tyson or executing insane two-for-one possessions at the end of a quarter, this dude has you covered.
I’m saying… I’d totally ride and die with the crazy resourceful and ultra spunky duo of Devin and R2.
C3P0 is a humanoid and so is Richard Jefferson.
Think about it. Both are programmed for etiquette and protocol. These are two humanoids on a mission. When Jefferson enters a game, he executes in a way that’s almost robotic. Defense – check. Rebounding – check. Spot-up shooting – check check check.
Both are trusty companions that can sometime be a bit clumsy and lose a leg or knee a friend in the face. That’s OK, because it rarely steers them off course. Remember, he’s programmed for etiquette, not destruction!
Boba Fett Aminu
Boba Fett and Al-Farouq Aminu. These are some baaaad men. Both deadly drifters with a silent demeanor that I wouldn’t cross with a 10-foot Tauntaun.
Even though Boba Fett doesn’t use the force, he’s still able to hang with the Jedi using his resourceful weaponry and dope jet pack. Aminu has been able to hang with this Mavs roster by utilizing his lockdown D and insane hustle in a variety of ways. That versatility – ability to play multiple positions – has made him so crucial to this 2015 Mavs operation.
Just be careful with that jetpack though …
Admiral Charlie Villanu-Ackbar
Talk about staying ready. Admiral Akbar stepped up when his name was called to be the military commander of the Rebel Alliance. After trading Brandan Wright, Dallas looked to Charlie Villanueva to step up and fill the vacant big-man role off the bench.
Also, Charlie knows good and well how to exploit traps.
They may not look like much of a threat, but give either of these guys a hint of breathing room and they’ll do some serious damage.
I’d be lying if I said this comparison had nothing to do with size. But it’s how they use their size that makes them so similar.
When things were looking bleak at the Battle of Endor, it was Wicket who stepped up to serve as a major help to the rebel alliance. J.J. knows a thing or two about stepping up, when he was thrusted into the starting lineup in the 2011 NBA Finals. With his valiant playmaking, J.J. helped Dallas hang that big blue banner.
Greg Smith Nunb
Nien Nunb was the brave co-pilot to Lando Calrissian aboard the Millennium Falcon when they took out Death Star No. 2. But the thing that really makes them alike is their celebrations. The way Nund laughed after destroying the death star is something I’ll never forget – comparable to Greg Smith seeing Boba Fett Aminu put the hammer down.
General Dwight Madine
Dwight Powell kind of came out of nowhere, huh? Some would even call his presence “covert.” Well, General Madine knows a thing or two about being secret given his background in specializing covert operations for the Rebel Alliance. Madine was the dude who culminatedthe plan to destroy the shield generator on the Forest Moon of Endor. I have a feeling if Powell were in Madine’s shoes, he would’ve done the exact same thing.
Ricky Ledo is so naturally gifted it’s not even funny. He also has this crazy ability to adapt and survive. Ledo reminds me so much of Wedge Antilles, whose never backed away from a challenge, whether he was taking down Imperial AT-ATs or assisting in the destruction of Death Star No. 2. Yeah, these two can ball. Ledo and Antilles have that survival skill that should carry them into their bright future ahead.
And don’t think I don’t tweet #WEDGEPASSALERT every time I see Antilles in a cockpit.
General Ray Dodonna
General Dodonna is a veteran military officer who was called upon to plan an infiltration of the Death Star’s defense system.
Before we go any further, did you guys know that General Dodonna’s first name is Jan? WUT.
Anyways, Raymond Felton has that kind of Dodonna presence that is massive to any successful mission. I have a sneaky suspicion, the Mavs will be calling on Felton to devise his own plan of attack on opponent’s defense systems.
Seriously, his name is Jan though.
Ready for the most difficult question in the history of the galaxy? Who’s the better mentor; Rick Carlisle or Obi-Wan Kenobi?
Impossible questions are hard, I know.
These are two of the wisest, most-talented men in the universe. What makes them so special is their ability to take what they’ve learned on the field of battle and train others. Obi-Wan was once a champion Jedi fighter who later took on the role of mentoring young Luke Skywalker. Rick was also a champion for the ’86 Celtics before he began his coaching career. He would eventually land in Dallas where he met a young Dirk Skywalker and the rest is history.
Both are master strategists; Rick with the flow offense, Obi-Wan with high ground. The great thing about Rick is no matter how bleak the game looks, we know we can always call on our master head coach.
Princess Mavs Front Office Organa
“Opportunistic” is a word the Mavs’ front office uses a lot. When thinking about which Star Wars character best exemplifies bravery, leadership and of course, being opportunistic, I can only think of one name — LEIA FREAKING ORGANA!
Leia is the heart and soul of the rebel alliance. The true brains of the operation. The one who isn’t afraid to make a move in the heat of the moment. In other words, Princess Leia is opportunistic. When Leia was under duress during Vader’s invasion of her ship, she snuck out a message along with the schematics in R2-D2 — LIKE A BOSS NASS. When she was held prisoner by Jaba the Hutt, Leia saw an opportunity to kill her captor and escaped — LIKE A BOSS NASS. When Leia needed help at the Battle of Endor, she called upon her furry Ewok friends to help her out — LIKE A BOSSSSS NASSSS.
Her instincts are ridiculous (didn’t trust Lando), she never caves to pressure (take that, interrogation droid) and she’s helped orchestrate several missions including the plan to destroy the Emperor’s second Death Star. Sold yet?
Just like Leia, the Mavs front office remains fearless and opportunistic. They are the ones making the tough calls in the moment, whether it’s trading for Tyson Chewbacca and Rondo Calrissian or having the faith to pick up Monta Solo when others didn’t want him. Their instincts are on point. If you disagree, do me a favor and go count how many other teams have made the playoffs 13 out of the last 14 years. This front office is ballsy and crazy smart. When the rest of the league zigs … the Mavs zag, like a true Organa.
Dirk Skywalker would never be a thing if it weren’t for the one man who taught him everything he knows. I’m talking about the great Holger Geschwindner, of course. Much like Luke’s relationship with Yoda, Holger trained Dirk in the most unorthodox ways.
Whenever Dirk goes through a rough patch, the spirit of Holger is called upon to assist him. Yoda’s training of Luke is pretty much a frame-by-frame shot of how Holger trains Dirk.
And finally …
Mark Followill, Derek Harper, and Jeff “Skin” Wade aka The Troigs
Thank you for being our best friends, Skin.